Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Last blog
The Women that Inspire Me Throughout my course in English 217, I have read an intense amount of reading material that existed around powerful, passionate, and tragic women that have proven through writing and exposing their secrets for the world to bear. This is for them. I have read so many books this semester that it’s hard for me to pinpoint specific writers who have truly changed my thought and made me realize I should embrace the person who I am. I think that three writers who have really done that for me are Sapphire (author of Push), Dorothy Allison (author of Two or Three Things I Know for Sure,) and Eve Ensler (author of I’m an Emotional Creature.) All have inspired me as a woman, and have taught me to embrace the person I am and my thoughts/ feelings, yet in different ways. I’ll start with Sapphire, author of Push. This book was so disturbing yet beautiful, and tells the tale of an extremely obese young black woman who was raped by her father, delivered his two children, and lives with a mother that verbally and physically abuses her. Precious, her name, is also illiterate and starts a special school program with other girls to learn how to read and write. Throughout the book, I could never imagine going through what Precious had to go through. One specific part is when Precious is discussing her improved TABE test grade for reading and writing. Sapphire writes on page 139, “I know I can do this. I still got time.” Despite everything that has happened to her, she continues to keep on pushing, like the book title, and continues to improve her life and be a better example of a mother to her two children than her own mother was, something I find incredibly inspiring, especially at her age of sixteen. That shows true courage to me. Another example is Dorothy Allison, author of Two or Three Things I Know for Sure. While her story is slightly different, she grew up with men who physically and mentally abused their women, often making them feel ugly and worthless in the South. Allison grew up with an abusive stepfather and became a lesbian in her later years. On one specific page, Allison writes on page 70 that “I am the only one who can tell the story of my life and say what it means… I did not want to wear that coat, to be told what it meant, to be told how it had changed the flesh, to let myself be made over into my rapist’s creation. Two or Three things I know for sure… I would rather go naked than wear he coat the world has made for me.” Those are pretty powerful words! Based on this statement, despite all the hurtful words and feelings of worthlessness that Allison endured (her male family members calling her ugly or a bitch or abusing her) she finally says, “Enough!” This had such an impact on me particularly because I often feel I do things or worry about matters in terms of pleasing others. By reading this, it taught me to not. It taught me to be proud of who I am and to embrace the world full on… as well as myself by not trying to be anyone else. My last example is Eve Ensler’s I’m an Emotional Creature. In the introduction, it says “It’s a call for us to join girl’s resistance to turning their backs on one another and themselves… a story about manhood and womanhood that belies in the fact that, as humans, we are ALL emotional creatures.” This speaks to me, because Ensler particularly makes it okay for woman to have a voice, something still forgotten in today’s society. Through Ensler, possibilities are endless for women, and women do have a voice, making men and women alike in the sense we are all vulnerable, powerful, thoughtful people. These women inspired me and made me realize despite who I am as a woman, I can do anything. And I can change the world perhaps one day through exposing my thoughts and feelings, despite the outlet. I think that is a huge part as to what the writers in this class were stating.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Beauty CAN be Important!
A wise woman by the name of Marilyn Monroe once said that "it is important that all little girls be told they are pretty, even if they are not." I do agree with this statement. After all, how else is a girl supposed to build self-esteem into her adulthood? Dorothy Allison growing up never heard this statement. In her "neck of the woods," it was unlikely any young girl, particularly in the Allison clan, was seen as beautiful. I do think that beauty can be something important; it helps to build confidence in one self as well as to establish a sense of self-worth! But how can one do so when they are taught to be worth nothing?
Dorothy Allison explains on page 32 that "I have never allowed to be beautiful and female. I was born trash in a land where all the people all believe themselves natural aristocrats." While they may not be aristocrats, I do feel it's important to be told when is beautiful and worth something. In class, we questioned as to why Allison refers to herself as "trash" so openly. I think she does this because she is raised to belief based on her background and how the men in her family treated the women, that she, naturally is no different and is also inbred of trash. I feel that Allison might not be allowed to be beautiful because the males do not allow her to be. She shows examples of this, such as when her grandfather calls her grandmother an "ugly old woman," or when her uncles say it to her aunts. Other examples on page 36 are when her cousins say it to their sisters, and Allison's sisters said to her.
It is a whole addicting line of hurtful words and wounds being passed on through generation through generation, starting with the men, who perhaps feel differently of women in the country. Because Allison grows up hearing these statements, she feels that she could never be beautiful, which is why her aunt says to her on page 34, "Thank God your're smart." Her aunt also grew up to believe she was worthless and not beautiful, which essentially made Allison think she needed to search for other means of life.
It is important to feel beautiful, or even to find a sense of self-worth. I feel that if Allison was not raised this way, she would have had a better sense of self-esteem for this.
Dorothy Allison explains on page 32 that "I have never allowed to be beautiful and female. I was born trash in a land where all the people all believe themselves natural aristocrats." While they may not be aristocrats, I do feel it's important to be told when is beautiful and worth something. In class, we questioned as to why Allison refers to herself as "trash" so openly. I think she does this because she is raised to belief based on her background and how the men in her family treated the women, that she, naturally is no different and is also inbred of trash. I feel that Allison might not be allowed to be beautiful because the males do not allow her to be. She shows examples of this, such as when her grandfather calls her grandmother an "ugly old woman," or when her uncles say it to her aunts. Other examples on page 36 are when her cousins say it to their sisters, and Allison's sisters said to her.
It is a whole addicting line of hurtful words and wounds being passed on through generation through generation, starting with the men, who perhaps feel differently of women in the country. Because Allison grows up hearing these statements, she feels that she could never be beautiful, which is why her aunt says to her on page 34, "Thank God your're smart." Her aunt also grew up to believe she was worthless and not beautiful, which essentially made Allison think she needed to search for other means of life.
It is important to feel beautiful, or even to find a sense of self-worth. I feel that if Allison was not raised this way, she would have had a better sense of self-esteem for this.
Two or Three Things I Know for Sure
The book Two or Three Things I Know for Sure by Dorothy Allison is the best book I have read all semester. The reason I enjoy this book so much is because of how easy I can relate to it. Allison touches upon so many depressing, deep, and passionate "stories" from her family growing up in Greenville, South Carolina, such as abuse, lack of beauty, and the power men seem to possess in this part of the US. In one specific chapter, Allison talks about a very strong woman in her life, her mother, and in this story is an underlying example of how women 'really take care of all and run the world.
"At first I didn't understand what my sister was doing, but at the funeral home I began to understand. Wanda was being Mama, doing what Mama would have done, comforting us in the way only Mama knew how to do. Of all the things I imagined, this was the one I had not foreseen. We had become Mama." (Allison 16-17.)
After reading this, I felt very spooked out. While up until this point the book was just something else to read in an enjoyable manner, I realized something. Women from generation to generation pass down their habits and knowledge of taking care of others, so to speak, a main duty women have had for years. It also scared me because I am in that exact situation.
Recently, my grandmother, the only one I had left, unexpectedly passed away from a multiple of diseases. My mom and I moved a month before her passing to Weston, CT to live with family. We now currently live with my elderly grandfather, taking care of him because he too, was recently allowed to leave from the hospital.
Reading this part of the book made me realize that my mother is a firm representation of Allison's sister, Wanda. My mother is her mother, is "Mama," doing things that her mother did for her father and family. She takes care of my grandfather, physically, mentally, and financially as well as taking care of myself. She has become her mother, and because of how my grandmother was raised, my mother learned abilities to nurture others, something women are expected to do. Through this quote and my personal experience, it shows that women are expected to nurture all in any way possible back to health and they keep the world going.
"At first I didn't understand what my sister was doing, but at the funeral home I began to understand. Wanda was being Mama, doing what Mama would have done, comforting us in the way only Mama knew how to do. Of all the things I imagined, this was the one I had not foreseen. We had become Mama." (Allison 16-17.)
After reading this, I felt very spooked out. While up until this point the book was just something else to read in an enjoyable manner, I realized something. Women from generation to generation pass down their habits and knowledge of taking care of others, so to speak, a main duty women have had for years. It also scared me because I am in that exact situation.
Recently, my grandmother, the only one I had left, unexpectedly passed away from a multiple of diseases. My mom and I moved a month before her passing to Weston, CT to live with family. We now currently live with my elderly grandfather, taking care of him because he too, was recently allowed to leave from the hospital.
Reading this part of the book made me realize that my mother is a firm representation of Allison's sister, Wanda. My mother is her mother, is "Mama," doing things that her mother did for her father and family. She takes care of my grandfather, physically, mentally, and financially as well as taking care of myself. She has become her mother, and because of how my grandmother was raised, my mother learned abilities to nurture others, something women are expected to do. Through this quote and my personal experience, it shows that women are expected to nurture all in any way possible back to health and they keep the world going.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Symbolism in The Shawl
As in every book, there is always an underlying meaning in something. Something I found interesting was the manner in which Rosa Lublin, the main character in Cynthia Ozick's The Shawl writes to her daughter who was brutally murdered, Magda. Rosa writes to her as if Magda is all grown up, perhaps she lives somewhere of a distance from her mother. I often have thought as to why she does this. Perhaps it is coming from a mother's perspective and she had high aspirations for her daughter to be something, despite the fact she did not have a chance? Or perhaps Rosa really is crazy and believes her daughter is alive. Perhaps Rosa knows that Magda is alive in spirit and associates her body literally with that of spirit.
An example of Rosa's unusual writing style to her daughter is on page 39. Ozick writes, " Forgive me, my yellow lioness. Too long a time since the last writing. " My thoughts are on this statement that maybe Rosa "writes" to her daughter as a way to cope with the remembrance of the loss of Magda. She address her with the oddest names, such as "lioness." Rosa really idolizes her daughter and thinks the world of her. Rosa then goes on discussing the type of life she had growing up and how her parents were. I think she does this because she never had her child to actually get to talk about her life growing up. As ironic as it is, both of her parents were into stories in a different sense, which is an obvious reason to why Rosa has no problems concocting one. From what Ozick writes, her father was a specialist in "foreign texts and periodicals." Her mother "published poetry." Something I find unique is how Ozick then writes, "To you all these accounts must have the ring of pure legend, even Stella, who CAN remember, refuses" on page 41. These people obviously have the gene of story-telling in them, so why is it any different that Rosa can make up a life for her daughter and writes to her as if she is real? It is true she lost her baby girl, but she is not alive in the way Rosa makes her to be. I think that Rosa wants so badly to believe that Madga is still alive, that Rosa did not fail as a mother and did not let her daughter die but that she saved her and they grew up together. Perhaps Rosa is not writing to her daughter... but her daughter as an angel.
An example of Rosa's unusual writing style to her daughter is on page 39. Ozick writes, " Forgive me, my yellow lioness. Too long a time since the last writing. " My thoughts are on this statement that maybe Rosa "writes" to her daughter as a way to cope with the remembrance of the loss of Magda. She address her with the oddest names, such as "lioness." Rosa really idolizes her daughter and thinks the world of her. Rosa then goes on discussing the type of life she had growing up and how her parents were. I think she does this because she never had her child to actually get to talk about her life growing up. As ironic as it is, both of her parents were into stories in a different sense, which is an obvious reason to why Rosa has no problems concocting one. From what Ozick writes, her father was a specialist in "foreign texts and periodicals." Her mother "published poetry." Something I find unique is how Ozick then writes, "To you all these accounts must have the ring of pure legend, even Stella, who CAN remember, refuses" on page 41. These people obviously have the gene of story-telling in them, so why is it any different that Rosa can make up a life for her daughter and writes to her as if she is real? It is true she lost her baby girl, but she is not alive in the way Rosa makes her to be. I think that Rosa wants so badly to believe that Madga is still alive, that Rosa did not fail as a mother and did not let her daughter die but that she saved her and they grew up together. Perhaps Rosa is not writing to her daughter... but her daughter as an angel.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Why are People so Cruel?
Something I found ironically funny is the way the main character in the book The Shawl by Cynthia Ozick, who is crazy in the book, finds her niece, Stella, to be so cruel. What makes a person cruel? I know everyone has different opinions, but is how Stella treating her aunt considered to be cruel or is she simply giving her elderly aunt tough love?
Throughout Rosa Lublin, the main character's, time in the concentration camps in Poland, she also took care of her 14 year old niece, Stella. From the very beginning, Ozick writes, "Stella, cold, cold, the coldness of hell." This opening line unveils a sense of intrigue to the reader and after careful analysis, I realize this was Rosa's way of looking back to describe her cold and selfish niece who wanted to be cared for at a time when she was split by both her parents and was in the care of an older aunt with a secret child of her own. I partially think for Stella being so young it was hard for her to handle the loss of her parents and her sanctity. As Ozick mentions on page 6, "And afterward she was always cold, always. The cold went into her heart."
Later on, there are other forms of Stella being cruel. This is an excerpt from a letter from Stella to her aunt on page 31. Ozick writes, "You make yourself crazy, everyone thinks you're a crazy woman. You'll open the box and take it out and cry, and you'll kiss it like a crazy person. Rosa, it's time you have a life." This is upon her returning the shawl from Rosa's dead baby to her. This is cruel, in my opinion. But maybe there is a reason for Stella's unusually hostile behavior. Perhaps she wished her aunt took better care and paid more attention to her as a growing girl during those tormenting years. She never had her parents. Maybe Stella is hostile towards her aunt for harboring a loss that was not really her fault. I think deep down she wants her aunt to move on, yet she (Rosa) takes Stella being cruel and working against the loss of her child.
A lot of readers can view this as cruel, but part of me sees it as a natural reaction as the result of fear, depression, and neglect.
Throughout Rosa Lublin, the main character's, time in the concentration camps in Poland, she also took care of her 14 year old niece, Stella. From the very beginning, Ozick writes, "Stella, cold, cold, the coldness of hell." This opening line unveils a sense of intrigue to the reader and after careful analysis, I realize this was Rosa's way of looking back to describe her cold and selfish niece who wanted to be cared for at a time when she was split by both her parents and was in the care of an older aunt with a secret child of her own. I partially think for Stella being so young it was hard for her to handle the loss of her parents and her sanctity. As Ozick mentions on page 6, "And afterward she was always cold, always. The cold went into her heart."
Later on, there are other forms of Stella being cruel. This is an excerpt from a letter from Stella to her aunt on page 31. Ozick writes, "You make yourself crazy, everyone thinks you're a crazy woman. You'll open the box and take it out and cry, and you'll kiss it like a crazy person. Rosa, it's time you have a life." This is upon her returning the shawl from Rosa's dead baby to her. This is cruel, in my opinion. But maybe there is a reason for Stella's unusually hostile behavior. Perhaps she wished her aunt took better care and paid more attention to her as a growing girl during those tormenting years. She never had her parents. Maybe Stella is hostile towards her aunt for harboring a loss that was not really her fault. I think deep down she wants her aunt to move on, yet she (Rosa) takes Stella being cruel and working against the loss of her child.
A lot of readers can view this as cruel, but part of me sees it as a natural reaction as the result of fear, depression, and neglect.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Symbolism in "The Shawl"
After careful thinking and analysis, I realized the critics of The Shawl by Cynthis Ozick were correct. Critics have used the item of the shawl to connect with the main character, Rosa Lublin, a concentration camp survivor during the Holocaust. Critics have stated that the object of the shawl "can sustain a starving child or inadvertently destroy her, or magically conjure her back to life." I do realize this is true.
In the beginning of the book, Rosa had a baby girl named Magda. She would keep her baby swaddled in a cloth, or shawl in order to protect the child against members finding out about her child with I am assuming what is known as an "Aryan." On page 5, Ozick starts to describe the shawl, saying that "it was a magic shawl; it could nourish an infant for three days and three nights." For this metaphor the author makes the shawl to be a needing factor in the child's life. For this shawl, baby Magda can be buried warmly and peacefully, sucking on her mother's breast for comfort and nourishment. It is also the ironic reason that for the lack of the shawl Rosa's daughter died during this time period. On page 8, Ozick describes a scene where I am assuming that Magda is a little bit older and does not need her shawl anymore. Ozick writes, "Maaaa...a! Rosa saw that Magda was grieving for the loss of her shawl, she saw she was going to die." Because of her having the shawl taken away from her, guards found little Magda and she was killed against an electrified fence they threw her against.
Later on in the book, Magda's shawl reappears, showing the true symbolism and a connection so strong between mother and daughter. On page 31, Rosa is much older now and has finally received the shawl she asked her neice to send to her. Ozick describes the meaning of the shawl: "The holy fragrance of the lost babe .Murdered. She put the shawl to her lips. Magda's swaddling cloth." To Rosa, the shawl is the only item she has left to connect her relationship to her dead daughter. Of COURSE she would cherish it! For this reason symbolizes and brings together the importance of an inanimate object in this book, to instill memory, sadness, yet hope in its characters.
In the beginning of the book, Rosa had a baby girl named Magda. She would keep her baby swaddled in a cloth, or shawl in order to protect the child against members finding out about her child with I am assuming what is known as an "Aryan." On page 5, Ozick starts to describe the shawl, saying that "it was a magic shawl; it could nourish an infant for three days and three nights." For this metaphor the author makes the shawl to be a needing factor in the child's life. For this shawl, baby Magda can be buried warmly and peacefully, sucking on her mother's breast for comfort and nourishment. It is also the ironic reason that for the lack of the shawl Rosa's daughter died during this time period. On page 8, Ozick describes a scene where I am assuming that Magda is a little bit older and does not need her shawl anymore. Ozick writes, "Maaaa...a! Rosa saw that Magda was grieving for the loss of her shawl, she saw she was going to die." Because of her having the shawl taken away from her, guards found little Magda and she was killed against an electrified fence they threw her against.
Later on in the book, Magda's shawl reappears, showing the true symbolism and a connection so strong between mother and daughter. On page 31, Rosa is much older now and has finally received the shawl she asked her neice to send to her. Ozick describes the meaning of the shawl: "The holy fragrance of the lost babe .Murdered. She put the shawl to her lips. Magda's swaddling cloth." To Rosa, the shawl is the only item she has left to connect her relationship to her dead daughter. Of COURSE she would cherish it! For this reason symbolizes and brings together the importance of an inanimate object in this book, to instill memory, sadness, yet hope in its characters.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Everything can Change in the Blink of an Eye...
The expression how things are constantly changing and in rapid motion is very true. In the story When the Emperor was Divine By Julie Otsuka there is a significant change in the ending. The story centers around a Japanese-American family after Pearl Harbor. The father was arrested and is in constant communication with his family. He is always chipper, upbeat, and strong for his family. Perhaps he is lying, but I think that he wants to remain in a positive attitude so his family can stay strong and stay in high spirits that he will be coming home. For example, on page 42, Otsuka writes from the father's perspective, "I am in good health and hope you are all well. Be good to your mother." I'm certain he did have hardships in prison, but he made sure his family kept his memories alive in a positive manner and that the father ensured all was taken care of. When he comes home, it is different.
He finally returns after a three year's absence. Otsuka writes on page 132, "All we could do was stare down at our shoes. Because the man who stood in front of us was not our father. That's not him. We could not be sure it was him." When this was stated, I thought at first by the text that another man came in his place to state that the father had died. Because of what he has gone through, there is a significant change. Otsuka lists the changes on page 132. "The father we remembered... handsome and strong. He liked to draw .. sing... laugh. The man... looked much older than his fifty-six years. He did not draw for us, read us stories..." She directly states the differences. It shows how unfortunate change is. Because of what their father went through, he came back with a distressed look that made him look older. The dad also came back a changed man because of his experiences, which are unknown. That time away was probably cruel, long, and lonely for him, making him better and learning to trust no one, something his children may not understand right away. This is way change can be difficult, especially when one knows a person to be loving.
He finally returns after a three year's absence. Otsuka writes on page 132, "All we could do was stare down at our shoes. Because the man who stood in front of us was not our father. That's not him. We could not be sure it was him." When this was stated, I thought at first by the text that another man came in his place to state that the father had died. Because of what he has gone through, there is a significant change. Otsuka lists the changes on page 132. "The father we remembered... handsome and strong. He liked to draw .. sing... laugh. The man... looked much older than his fifty-six years. He did not draw for us, read us stories..." She directly states the differences. It shows how unfortunate change is. Because of what their father went through, he came back with a distressed look that made him look older. The dad also came back a changed man because of his experiences, which are unknown. That time away was probably cruel, long, and lonely for him, making him better and learning to trust no one, something his children may not understand right away. This is way change can be difficult, especially when one knows a person to be loving.
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